Devoted To Master

The First Time

I met Mesmero Crystal in my first years on Second Life, and my experience with him was very mixed.

He used machines a lot, but back then I was so inexperienced and desperate for trance, I took everything I could get. I was a slut for hypnosis

I fondly remember calling him Daddy and being his babygirl. I liked him encouraging me to be more bimbo-like, and using suggestions to make me enjoy his attention. I recently discovered those suggestions were still active…

He also wanted me to be sexually aggressive, to actively seduce him – and I saw that (incorrrectly) as him trying to train me to be more dominant, and I constantly rejected those suggestions.

This was a bit of a thorn in our relationship, with me sometimes blatantly telling him to stop it. He’d then say things like he got carried away, and it wouldn’t happen again, so I’d relent and then it would happen again.

I’m a lot more familiar with that kind of excuse these days and recognise it for what it is.

I mentioned he used machine trances a lot. He started “training” me with a series of three Hypnotic Magic trances. It started with Submission, which made me feel submissive to him and more amenable to his commands. Then came Slave, which was even more controlling (as you can tell from the name). And finally Devoted. I’ve described this in an earlier review, but essentially it encouraged me to want him to push my limits, to want him to take more and more control.

That was kind of a tipping point. That Devoted trance was messing with my head. I didn’t want to do it again and said so, but he kept pushing me back to doing it – and it has that suggestion to make you want your dominant to push your limits. So I kept giving in.

But at some point, I snapped and told him I wasn’t going to play anymore, and I definitely wasn’t going to do that trance ever again, and I broke things off with him.

He didn’t accept that easily – he kept messaging me, knowing that every time we spoke it was reactivating the suggestions of submission to him. So I told him I’d had enough and blocked him.

This was at least ten years ago and feelings fade. At some point unrelated to this, I decided I wanted a fresh start and cleared my block list, and restarted my hypnolife.

A New Meeting

Going deeper and deeper

And then, a few years ago, I bumped into Mesmero again, and what a difference time makes. He started out with some friendly flirting and praising my appearance, and whether intentionally or not, was reactivating old dormant suggestions, I found myself getting giggly and squirmy with him, and really enjoying his company.

We did a lot of exploring of Live Trance Labs together, which has a lot of hypnosis things that I could watch while he could talk to me in a very seductive, and hypnotic way.

A very pleasant surprise: he’d learned to do hypnosis himself without relying on machines, and he was really good at it! I spent a lot of time on those trips to Live Trance Labs drifting away in a very happy fog.

Another pleasant surprise: he didn’t seem to be focussed on sex, and was happy just to trance me, again and again. Which was perfect for me. There’s nothing better than trance!

I started thinking of him as my Protector, and it was a nice feeling.

And he’d seemed to have grown in other ways.

Scarlet Letters

One day, he asked me about notes I’d been sending him. I felt confused but also a dawning realisation.

You see, it turns out I had a suggestion set by a previous hypnotist to send “my dominant” letters describing how I was feeling, and what I found sexy. And then I’d forget all about those letters. That way, I didn’t have to be inhibited in the things I said – since I wouldn’t remember them, and wouldn’t feel shame about anything I said, I could say whatever came into my mind…

Now, I had been fantasising about sending Mesmero those letters (and some to other people) but hadn’t realised I had actually been doing it. Anyone who is reading this blog can tell I enjoy writing, and this suggestion harnessed that part of my mind. And the loose language (“my hypnotist”) allowed my subconscious to cling to this pleasurable suggestion and keep it going with other people.

The way the subconscious works is fascinating!

Anyway, I realised then that I’d been sending letters to multiple people, telling them my fantasies and desires. That was embarrassing! Plus, a very unscrupulous hypnotist could have used the vulnerability this exposed in very sinister ways (that’s foreshadowing – look for the tale of Sven Minoptra).

I’m not upset with any of the previous people I’d sent letters to. Most people didn’t respond to them in any way. For all I know, they were embarrassed or thought I was roleplaying, or just didn’t know how to react.

So a very concerned Mesmero asked about the letters and that made my conscious mind realise what was happening (or maybe, face the truth of what I was doing – hypnosis can make issues of agency and responsibility a bit murky). That broke the spell (and soon after, my experience with Sven killed the suggestion even deader).

So I’ll always be grateful to Mesmero for that. It would be sexy to have a suggestion like that with someone I trusted, but having it be very open and applying with just anybody is going too far.

Deeper and Deeper

A common sight at Chataeu Mesmero

Many people over the years have talked about, “Going deeper than you have with anyone else ever before,” and similar. But I have a lot of experience, and also once enjoyed a trance that was over 5 hours long, involving constant fractionation (I’ll have to tell the tale of Vanity Vandeverre at some point), so this is never ever true.

And earlier in my Hypno career, I told people, “No I’m not,” and that could challenge egos. Hypnotists really didn’t like not being able to take me deeper than someone else. So I learned to just comply and say yes, even if it wasn’t true. It turns out you don’t have to tell the truth in hypnosis! (One of many misconceptions about hypnosis.)

And fantasy is a big part of hypnosis – not just the fantasy of the sub, The hypnotist often has their fantasies too.

But with Mesmero – he was taking me really deep and really did take me deeper than I’ve ever been before. We would meet up, and he’d spend our entire time together just dropping me deeper and deeper. It was bliss.

My fantasies kicked into action, and I imagined him taking me deep, and while I was completely in his power, planting suggestions to control me that I’d forget. And one day I encouraged him to do that, to make me forget something, and to be honest, he kind of fumbled it by phrasing his suggestions in a way that pretty much guaranteed I’d remember them.

So, on the one hand, I was disappointed, because the idea that he’d been planting suggestions I didn’t know about was sexy, and I realised now that wasn’t happening.

But on the other hand, it was really good, because I now knew those deep trances were exactly what they seemed to be – being dropped deep, and deeper, and deeper, and I could let go and really abandon myself to them.

Unfortunately, that was when he stopped doing them. Maybe he was embarrassed by his failure. That was a big shame, because I really, really loved those. And when someone else says, “You are going deeper than ever before,” I’ll have a new memory when I internally think, “Nope.”

Home Sweet Home

Losing myself… So good to let go….

By now I was visiting Mesmero at his home. In the old days, he had a suggestion that I’d get more submissive and compliant there, and he was strengthening that now. Every item of clothing I dropped would make me weaker and more submissive, so I spent a lot of time there naked…

He had a lot of hypnotic things around the house to entrance me with, so the relationship was heavenly. I could talk a lot about the fun times there, but this post is already long.

But then things took a turn.

He started using machine trances again, and at the same time, I started getting hornier and hornier – I started fantasising about sex with him. It’s natural to think one thing there led to another, but I think there’s more going on.

By now I was playing regularly with Sparrow and Badboy (the previous tale in this series, and the next one) and both of them were making me feel a lot more sexual. I think their suggestions were bleeding over to my time with Mesmero (including one very sexual one from Badboy).

I was starting to associate hypnosis with sex, and so when Mesmero tranced me, I’d feel sexual urges. It was funny – sometimes he’d be trancing me, and I’d find myself thinking, “God I’m so horny, fuck me now!” and he’d just keep trancing me.

I normally wanted trance more than sex, but here I was being tranced, and wanting sex with him. It’s funny to think of how easily he could have had that sexually assertive, even aggressive, bimbo sex slave he desired, if he knew what was going on in my mind.

Now, Mesmero isn’t completely innocent here – a lot of the stuff he had around the house was very blatantly sexual and was adding to these feelings.

But then, the idylls came to an end…

Devoted to Master

Mesmero had stopped using his own trances and started encouraging me to use his machine trances. One of those trances was the one I’d vowed never to use again, Devoted.

An assortment of toys for Master Mesmero

I told him this but he persuaded me to use it anyway, and I was feeling compliant and wanted to obey. It felt good to obey.

And that trance made me want even more for him to push my boundaries, to take greater and greater advantage and started to bleed over into my other relationships. I was being corrupted and wanted to be taken more advantage of, to be pushed into things that I knew I would rebel against, to feel their increasing power over me, and my growing weakness…

I wasn’t really happy – I knew I shouldn’t be doing it. But I wanted to and was craving it.

Then came the experience with Peachey, and shocked me out of my compliant state. It made me look at the stuff I was accepting, even encouraging, and decided to end them.

Mesmero was online when I was unfriending people, and asked me about it, so I told him what was going on. He wasn’t happy but accepted it. But in subsequent days, he kept messaging me, checking up on me. Each time he messaged me, it was retriggering desires to serve and please him. So I told him that I need him to stop messaging me to get some space to recover, and he complied. He hasn’t messaged me since.

So that is that. For now…

The Hypnotic Machine looks so lonely now…
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