Gender Presentation and Dominance

I’m going to talk about a trend, not a hard and fast rule. But a funny thing I’ve noticed is the difference between people who present as male and people who present as female, in the hypnokink community.

  • Dominants who present as male in second life tend to be much more focussed on sex, and hypnosis is just either a means to get it, or used to enhance it and make it more real.
  • Dominants who present as female are much more interested in control and use hypnosis to enhance that. Sex still happens, but it’s not the primary focus.

I find this fascinating because it seems to be completely separate from and independent of gender identity.

I want to be clear here: when I talk about this trend, I’m talking about presentation – the gender you choose for your avatar on Second Life.

  • I’ve met a lot of people who identify as men in RL, and take female avatars in SL.
  • I’ve known a lot of people who some people think are male in real life, but are actually female (trans people), and presenting as a woman in second life is being their authentic selves.
  • I’ve known one cis woman who presents as a man in second life.
  • And of course there are many who lie outside of SL as men or women (cis or trans), who take the same presentation inside Second Life.

Transphobes will claim that all women in SL are actually men, but the reality is way more complex and nuanced (some of those ‘men’ are roleplaying, and others are actually women, and yes, some of them are cis women.)

Forget all of that, think of just the avatar in second life – that’s what I’m talking about here. It seems that those drawn to choose male avatars want sex more than anything else, and those drawn to female avatars want control more than anything else. And this is completely separate from how they identify outside of second life.

Isn’t that interesting?

Note: this doesn’t talk about nonbinary people at all, it’s just about presenting specifically as male or female.

Also, if you don’t know, cis is short for cisgender, which simply means “not trans”.

I also want to repeat that this is a trend – not a universal truth. I’ve played with enough hypnotists to notice it, but I’ve also seen exceptions. It’s just fascinating how often it happens.

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