How I Became a Sex Doll and Size Queen

I first met BadBoy a few years ago. I wasn’t in the mood for playing with anyone, but he won me over with his charm and considerate manner.

Later that day, I fantasised that he had tranced me that day and had his wicked way with me, and now I’m sure (90% sure) that really did happen, and that was not simply a daydream but a memory surfacing.

We met a lot after that, and our meetings had a similar pattern. We’d meet up, I’d sit and talk with him, end up horny as hell, and go somewhere with him for sex. And later, I’d fantasise or dream about him, and in those fantasies, he’d be using trance to turn me on.

I realise now at least parts of those daydreams were resurfacing memories of his trance. There were also times when he was sloppy or just didn’t care if I noticed. He’d neglect to give suggestions to forget, or phrase things in contradictory ways which meant my mind was confused, thinking, “Am I supposed to forget this?”

He also started using a really long trance that had a huge section of triggers. That was too much to take in at once, and I couldn’t help remembering some of them. Fir a while anyway – over time, it got easier to drift and I forgot them.

But even though I remembered bits that made me distrust his motives, I kept playing with him because it felt so damn good.

I should probably describe how he used his cock to entrance and pleasure me, and addict me, but I don’t want to remember it too vividly and retrigger myself…

I’m not generally into sex on Second Life – it gets in the way of trance! But with Badboy it was different. I found myself hungry for sex and, um, his huge cock.

That’s the Last Time, Again…

We didn’t spend enough time just enjoying each other’s company. There was always something demanding attention…

He was openly talking about addiction, and the idea of making me addicted to him and his cock. I kept telling him that was not for me. I’d get frustrated and tell him things were over. He’d accept with grace, then we’d meet up again a few weeks later, and I’d somehow end up back in bed with him.

We broke up at least five times – I’ve honestly lost count. Looking back, I was obviously affected by addiction suggestions. I was finding reasons to give in to him. It was harmless after all, since he wasn’t using the opportunity to really enslave me. He wasn’t doing anything too bad, just having sex. Over and over again.

I know that he was trancing me, maybe every time we met before we had sex, but I have fuzzy memories of those trances and am kind of inferring the suggestions from how I was acting and the things I’d dream about or fantasise about later.

An Assortment of Triggers

I loved our days at the beach. So romantic!

Here are some suggestions that I’m pretty sure he gave me, judging from my behaviour:

  • After every meeting, I have vivid and extremely sexual fantasies and dreams of our time together.
  • As I talk to him or spend time with him, I get hornier and more submissive, eager to be with him and forget about whatever else I was doing at the time.
  • His touch drives me wilder than even his words, and it works fast! We are talking, he fondles me, and instantly I’m overcome with lust and passion and need to strip and, erm, fuck…
  • An orgasm trigger, which he uses when we are having sex, a lot. I’d say making love, but fucking is a better description. Sometimes it hits me when I’m just looking at his cock, or, um, sucking it. But mainly it’s while he is thrusting into me, over and over…
  • Obsession with his cock. He wasn’t subtle about this. I remember him telling me to look at it, over and over. But even though I knew what he was doing, it was still working, (And what a cock…). Later, he’d just mention it or hint at it, and I’d start feeling those submissive cravings.
  • Feeling overwhelmed with orgasm, and feeling full of submissive love and desire for him. (Especially on our beach trips.)
  • And at least one very obvious trigger that would be easy for others to hijack, so I’ll not mention it here.

You might notice a trend here. There were probably a bunch of others, but the ones I remember were all very clearly about sex and wanting it more and more…

Badboy is All I Need

Yearning, Longing, Needing…

I’ve pointed out before that if someone tries to make you do something you really don’t like, you’ll reject the suggestions. I’m pretty sure that’s still true here. But he never tried to take more control over me – he never tried to make me do anything. It was just about sex. We’d meet up, have sex, maybe with a trance, and then go our separate ways till the next time. So he never pushed me to the point I’d reject his suggestions.

It was the strangest, sluttiest relationship I’ve ever had. But the addiction suggestions were building up.

I was starting to long for him when I wasn’t with him, and neglected other relationships and obligations to have opportunities to spend time with him.

So it was affecting me when we weren’t together, and locking me in a dead-end relationship.

I was seeing three hypnotists at this time, Sparrow, Mesmero, and Badboy, and now I started avoiding the others. I only wanted to see Badboy.

I knew if I saw them, it might weaken Badboy’s control, and I didn’t want that. I wanted to be enslaved by him. I needed him.

At this realization, I broke things off again with him yet again, telling myself it was the last time. Honest.

Edging Over Christmas

Coming to my rescue…

I didn’t see him for ages. Then a funny thing happened.

At Christmas, literally the day before Christmas Eve, I fell on the ice and broke my shoulder so I couldn’t use my right arm. Over the next few weeks, as I healed, I started getting really horny. I couldn’t get myself off – any time I got close, I’d move my shoulder too much and the pain would hit me like a cold shower.

There are those stories of girls being taken to the edge of orgasm and not allowed to cum, and being kept in that stage, turning into horny and submissive sluts, eager to obey.

Well, it wasn’t like that. It was a torment. I hated it. As soon as I was able, I started logging on to SL, planning to try to use some trance machines in the hope of getting some satisfaction.

And who would I bump into but Badboy? He was sympathetic and wrote me a trance to keep me immobilized while he used his words, and his avatar, and his avatar’s cock, to take to the edge of orgasm and beyond.

And it worked really well!

Addicted and Corrupted and Surrendered

He made me feel so affectionate…

In the weeks following, I got dependent on him. I needed him more than ever. It kind of broke something in me. By the time my shoulder healed, I had completely stopped resisting him and was thinking of myself as his bimbo sex slave.

I let him do whatever he wanted, being completely compliant. He could easily have taken the opportunity to plant more controlling suggestions, but he was only interested in sex. I remember he’d fuck me, and I wanted to stay with him, to cuddle and worship him, but he’d had his pleasure. He’d got off and so logged off, leaving me wanting more.

I was fantasising about ways he could increase his control over me – my fantasy got so intense, they were scaring me. I wanted to tell him these fantasies and hoped he’d use them against me.

Remember also that I was doing the Devoted trance with Mesmero. I was very submissive with badboy now, and the suggestions from that trance to want your dominant to push your limits and take greater control were bleeding over into this relationship.

Luckily he wasn’t really interested in me, I think he just wanted a warm body when it was convenient. He didn’t push me to talk about my dreams and fantasies, and a part of me hung on to them. I knew I could easily be persuaded to tell him my fantasies and corrupted desires, but I didn’t offer them up.

If there’s one thing I always have, it’s some degree of inhibition.

And then the Peachey thing happened and shocked me out of that state. It made me take a long hard look at what I was accepting, and I realised I needed a break from hypnosis and Second Life.

I unfriended her, and the three men mentioned in this series. With all of his addiction suggestions, I didn’t trust myself to talk to Badboy again, so I did what I should have done a long time ago and blocked him so he couldn’t message me.

And that’s it. I haven’t tranced since that encounter with Peachey – no people, no machines, no mp3s. I’m starting to miss it again. Oh dear…

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