People often assume that I have hypnotists on call, ready to trance me at my whim. Honestly,have been times where this was true, and the tips I’m going to describe are a big part of the reason why.
That said, most of the time it’s not like that! Still, these tips will help you find people to at least talk to, and may lead to hypnosis.
Use Your Profile
Back when I was new to Second Life, and despairing of ever meeting a hypnotist that wasn’t a hypnotron, I got talking to a wonderful girl named Kia Lorefield. We were chatting about what we each wanted on SL, and when I told her my goals, she said, “You should stick that in your profile – hypnotists will be lining up for you.”
I laughed, but that turned out to be the best advice anyone has given me on SL. I am not exaggerating – every time I logged on I was getting people chatting me up. A good profile works wonders.
Second Life is big – no matter how strange or weird your fetishes may be, there are plenty of other people who share them. You might, like me, be a little shy about discussing them – but adding them to the profile means you don’t have to! People will know what you want. So it’s a good thing.
There can be a dilemma if you have friends who aren’t in the hypnofetish scene – you might be wary of including personal stuff in your profile. In that case, this tip might not be much help to you – and that’s unfortunate, because this is THE most important tip, and all the rest build on it. (Though the Use Groups Proactively tip might still help.) So, I’d encourage you to find a way of at least hinting what you’re looking for, that won’t cause problems for you with your friends.
When I say use your profile, I mean everything on your Profile page. Use your Group List and Favourite Picks. People can see what you’re interested in, and learn something about your character.
Having anything at all is better than a blank screen. But also, Be Honest. Don’t write things that aren’t true just to get people’s attention. When people meet you, they’ll learn pretty quickly if it’s not true, and their disappointment will count against you.
By all that’s sexy – have a Profile Pic
Also, as part of making your profile useful, please have a Profile Pic. Find a place in Second Life that flatters you, and get a friend to take a good pic if you have no talent.
Make it a Second Life snapshot – don’t use artwork, and don’t use a RL pic (the First Life tab is for that). People want to see who they’ll be meeting in Second Life – only a Second Life snapshot works for that.
If it’s a blank pic, people will assume you don’t care about your appearance, and trust me, that’s a no-no in the very visual world of Second Life.
Also as an addendum, it’s worth actually taking some care over your avatar. If you have a newbie avatar, even a non-mesh avatar in this day and age, chances are no one is going to be interested.
Disclaimer – My Profile
After reading these tips, you may jump to my profile to get ideas (or even steal my words, haha). But bear in mind, I’m not following my suggestions and there’s a good reason for that.
I deleted my profile because I didn’t want people to contact me. I was going through some personal stuff, and wanted alone time. So I cleared my profile, to stop people contacting me. And it worked!
Let that be a lesson – if your profile is empty, you aren’t going to meet your dream hypnotist.
Lie In Wait
A common tactic is to hang around in hypno-themed places like Live Trance Lab or Cranial Lust. These places often have a comfy lounge where people can sit around, waiting for a hypnotist or subject to come along and catch their fancy. I have met a few hypnotists this way, and it has led to good experiences.
As methods go, this is a good standby, and you can do it at any time. But of the methods I can think of, it’s probably the least rewarding – it takes a lot of time. I’d advise using this selectively. Say, if you have just been hanging out with a friend and that friend has gone offline, visit one of these places and hang out for 10 or 20 minutes. Maybe you’ll strike up a fun conversation, and pass the time pleasantly, and maybe you’ll hit it off with someone and find yourself being tranced.
But – this is very important – as soon as you start getting bored, make your excuses and leave.
One thing a lot of people do, which I strongly advise against, is to go to these places, and then leave the keyboard.
You need to be at the screen, looking at the profiles and group lists of people who pass through, and be willing to respond to any conversation that starts up. A lot of the people sitting around silently are waiting for someone to say something, and when they see you are not idle, they may approach you in IM. That has happened to me many times.
But if you’re idle, people won’t attempt to talk to you, and the chance will pass you by.
So hang out, while you are alert and interested, but once your interest starts to fade, move on.
Join Likeminded Groups
Whenever you meet someone, have a look through their groups. If you find one that catches your eye and seems to speak to you, join that group – and don’t hide it.
After I filled in my profile, I started getting people IMing me as Kia had predicted. It would come and go in waves – sometimes I’d have 2 or 3 in a night, and then weeks might pass before it happened again. These were people who had not met me, and had never been in the same sim at the same time as me. It was baffling. Then one of them told me she had browsed the one of the groups she belonged to, looking at profiles for people she might like.
So, if you have a helpful profile, and join groups that have plenty of hypnotists (or subs if that’s what you are looking for), you can sometimes get people approaching you out of the blue.
This has never stopped happening for me – even after I wiped my profile, I’d still get the very occasional chat up from a group member. Just being in a group tells people you have that shared interest, and that may enough to lead to conversation.
I can’t recommend specific groups, since everyone’s taste is different and by Linden, there are too many to list. By checking people’s profiles, you’ll keep finding new ones. So many…
Use Groups Proactively
But you can do more than just being a member of a group! There are two ways you can use your groups more productively.
First, you can use Group Chat: if you’re a hypnotist, you can ask in the group channel if anyone fancies a hypno-session (someone always will – you’ll probably be inundated!). I’ve seen subs ask for hypnotists and get responses too, though that’s a lot less common.
This has the drawback of being indiscriminate – you are never sure what kind of people you’re going to meet. But, don’t let that put you off. If you need to meet ten people before you find one you really want to have fun with, you do still have to meet people. And this way you might meet people you would normally not give a second glance to, and have a pleasant surprise.
But you don’t have to be so single-minded. Most groups are starved for fun conversations, so if you just start talking, it can lead to interesting conversation, and making friendships, which can lead to trance eventually. There are plenty of times over the years where I’ve joined in a chat about pretty much anything, and soon after had an IM from someone wanting to trance me.
The second way is the reverse of my previous tip: actively browse the group’s members and look at their Profiles. Find people who you might like, and approach them. The group list shows you who is online, so you can meet people immediately if they are willing.
This method does rely on other people having filled in their profiles, but some people do.
However, don’t send messages that you are looking for someone to trance you. Everyone already knows that – everyone in the group is also looking for someone to trance them. It just makes you look desperate. And boring.
That said, if you are very charming, and funny, and sexy – it can work.
Things To Avoid
Don’t Be A Pushy Sub
Oh my god, this is a biggie. And I see so many subs doing exactly this, especially with female hypnotists. This is too big a topic to tackle here, but in short, don’t be selfish. Remember that hypnotists don’t exist for your pleasure – they are people who have their own interests and desires. You have to be worth their interest – don’t demand their attention, appeal to it.
Never, ever say you’re bored.
If you tell people you are bored, you are telling them you are only talking to them because it’s marginally better than watching paint dry.
Trust me on this, no-one wants to hear your bored.
If you’re bored – log off and do something fun. Then come back when you’re actually interested and interesting.
Lern 2 spel. Srsly. And avoid text speak.
Hypnotists love language. That means full complete words, in sentences, occasionally if only by accident forming correct grammatical structures. They spend a lot of time using words – picking specific words or phrases to evoke a certain mood or response. So, you’ll get short shrift if you are don’t use at least basic spelling and grammar.
I’m not being snobby here. There are places where it’s appropriate to use shorthand, text speak, and so on – but second life is not one of them. You are going to be sitting at your computer or laptop – use that keyboard!
Don’t Hang Around SL When You’re Bored
I’ve touched on this already, but I really can’t stress this enough. If you’re bored, people can tell, and you will come across as desperate or boring. People will not want your company.
If you’re in SL, find something to do that you find interesting, partly to keep you engaged, but also so that when people reach out, you have something to talk about.
I repeat: if you are bored, or idling, log off.
These rules don’t apply if you’re a hypnotist – because people will give you a lot more leeway. You’re in demand.
But if you’re a sub, there are many, many more just like yourself – you need to stand out. You need to be making the best impression, and if you’re bored, that won’t happen.
It might not be fair, but it’s the reality. You get just one chance to make a first impression – make it count.
These are the tips anyone can use. Many of these tips might seem very basic and obvious, but if you’ve never thought about the things mentioned here, give them a try.
But also, if you have any talents or other assets you can use them too.
If you take good snapshots, have a portfolio in your pics, and use that as part of your chat up – ask people if they want a snapshot taken, or want to see your gallery. “Hey babe, come back and see my etchings.”
If you have your own land, make sure you have something interesting there, and invite people to see it.
Here’s the big secret behind this post – when you’re looking for a hypnotist, you are dating. You are doing the same kind of things you would do in Real Life when looking for a fun companion or a partner – just adapted for Second Life.
That means you want to present yourself well, and be the the best you that you can be when meeting people.
And it also means you can’t expect everything to come to you. You have to put some work in. There’s no avoiding that.
And of course, getting the attention of a hypnotist is only the first step. It gives you an opportunity, but you now have to show that you’re worth the hypnotist’s attention. Maybe I’ll make a Hypno-Dating in Second Life series to help with that step… (Spoiler: it’s about having self-respect and treating people with respect. And being humble and sexy like me.)
Do you know of any good places to hang out, or fun, active groups to join? Do you have any tips of your own? Let us know in the comments.