It’s amazing (and disappointing) how common it is for tists to use addiction suggestions. It’s incredibly selfish and self-serving – when a tist uses addiction suggestions with someone they have only recently met, it really is the perfect evidence of how they are really out for themselves and don’t care about their subjects at all.
What is an addiction suggestion?
The word ‘addiction’ might not be used. The tist might give you a suggestion to need to see them more often, to crave them, or get pleasure from being in their presence or even just when you think of them.
Basically, the idea is the tist gives you a suggestion to want to see them more, and it affects you when you are not with them.
If you’re a manipulative tist who wants to make sure you have a subject ready to play with you whenever you want them, and you don’t care what they’ll feel like when they don’t see you, this is perfect.
If you’re a subject who wants to have a life when you aren’t with the tist, it’s not so ideal.
Remember too how casual many online relationships are. Both tist and subject log in when they are able, or when they feel like it, and have often busy lives outside of each other – they might like to spend time with friends, go shopping, go exploring, or even get mired in their inventory. They might even play with other people.
An addiction suggestion completely changes this dynamic: it forces the subject to have their life revolve around the tist, constantly checking if they are online, and dropping plans with their friends to see the tist.
Make no mistake: this is what the tist wants – they want you to be available whenever they want you, and they don’t care how it affects you.
Meanwhile, the tist goes on with their life as normal – they log in when they feel like it, and play with whoever catches their fancy at that moment. They have no obligation to spend time with the subject, and if they get bored of them, or find another subject that is more exciting, they can put off the addicted subject as long as they like.
And this happens a lot. I have known quite a few subjects who are used and discarded by their tists – but kept on a distant leash, in case the tist is bored and has nothing else to do. While the subject is left to pine for the tist, abandoning any chance of finding a good Second Life in the process.
Even when the tist and subject actually get along and want to spend all their time together, it’s a one-sided imposition that puts a burden on the subject and none on the tist.
I said above that a tist might not use the word Addiction. I’m very sincere about that. You’ll find a lot of tists and machine trances giving suggestions like, “The more you do this trance, the more you want to do it” or “You love my trances and want to experience them more and more.”
There’s a very blurry line here because hypnotists are trained to use language like this. I’m more hardline than most on this topic and say, “Any suggestion that even hints at addiction is a no-no.”
Most suggestions don’t need to be that restrictive. The important thing is to identify whether a tist is trying to trap you into being devoted to them and put them first, or is simply using similar language to make the trance experiences easier and more intense.
There’s no easy dividing line you have to make that judgement for yourself. But usually, in Second Life, it’s very easy to tell which it is. And usually, the selfish, abusive explanation is the right one.
How To Know You Are Dealing With Addiction?
If you reach that state it’s time to stop – do whatever you can to break things off. Unfriend them, block them, take time off Second Life if necessary, fill your time with other things (maybe write a blog…) – the feelings will fade, you’ll just have to go through some unpleasant longings for a while.
Remember, you don’t owe them anything. They have been using you selfishly, and as much as you think there is a connection there, it’s purely artificial and purely for their benefit. They are abusing you, and you don’t owe them any explanation, or any kind of closure. Just break things off, and avoid all contact with them.
The most important thing: are your actions giving you satisfaction? Not pleasure, but genuine satisfaction. Are you happy,? If you’re dealing with unwanted addiction suggestions, you might be feeling pleasure but still be unhappy and dissatisfied.
It’s also important to realise that addiction doesn’t have to be obvious overpowering cravings. You might find yourself choosing to do things you had previously been sure you wouldn’t, and then justifying it to yourself.
So follow the suggestions in the previous Red Flags post – keep a journal, have a confidant, anything to keep you grounded and remember what you really want.
Addiction vs Submission
Some people will respond – but isn’t that what submission is about? The subject doing things for the tist?
Let me say very clearly that no, this isn’t a healthy power-exchange relationship with an ethical tist and subject – it’s an abusive relationship.
If you have a long-term relationship with someone (like, months or years of seeing each other regularly), and you have discussed safeguards, and want to pursue a relationship that includes hypnotic addiction – then more power to you. That is good.
Safeguards to discuss before doing this include considering what happens when the subject and tist aren’t able to see each other for a while, or what happens if the relationship breaks up. Yes, a good tist will consider these things and make sure the hypnosis “switches off” in such cases.
If you are meeting someone online, casually with no idea when or how often you’ll meet up, and that someone gives you addiction suggestions: that is abuse, plain and simple. They are being selfish, and not remotely considering your feelings.
How to Break Free
The good thing is, all hypnosis needs reinforcement. If you stop playing with the hypnotist that is addicting you, the feelings will fade.
The tricky part sometimes is breaking away and making sure you don’t see them anymore. This is easier said than done.
I’ve experienced weeks of longing and yearning, feeling uncomfortable cravings for someone I don’t want to see. I’ve felt my mind playing tricks with me, suggesting, “Maybe we can see them just one more time.” Trust me, I know what it’s like.
But these feelings and thoughts do pass. They’ll get weaker in time, you just have to wait them out.
If your hypnotist is online, block them on all contacts, and resist the temptation to contact them again.
What are your experiences with addiction? Any good or bad stories to share?